I just wanna be like other girls, to have that someone they love, love them back, have best friends to tell everything to & not feel looked down at when they're with their friends just because of their past. but unfortunately, those look so impossible for me. because of my past, because of those scars, because of what I've done, I can be nothing like them. sometimes, I hate myself so much I just wanna grab that blade & start cutting. But then I realise, if I do that, I will lose what I only have left, my family. I don't wanna feel the same way I feel around my friends when I'm with them. they're like the only thing I have left, the only people that make me feel like I exist for a reason.
It has been an entire year since I lived under the scars & what they think of me. the way they talk to me, like I don;t deserve to exist. it hurts like fck, but then again, they don't care how I feel, does it help telling them, but I still did, they continued. they don't know how it feels, cos they don't have the past I have, couldn't blame them I guess. & since then, I stayed away. trying to avoid going outings with them, not hanging out with them in school. I just wanted to be alone. to have sometime alone. cos the only person that won't hurt me, is me. others judge, even they dont know you. they just don't care. because you don't do things the way they do, & that's why they won't accept you. not even if you tried to fit in, not even you tried so hard you forgotten who you really are. THEY JUST DONT CARE.
I guess that's how all human are.
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10.12.11 | Saturday, December 10, 2011 |
0 Mr(s)I just wanna be like other girls, to have that someone they love, love them back, have best friends to tell everything to & not feel looked down at when they're with their friends just because of their past. but unfortunately, those look so impossible for me. because of my past, because of those scars, because of what I've done, I can be nothing like them. sometimes, I hate myself so much I just wanna grab that blade & start cutting. But then I realise, if I do that, I will lose what I only have left, my family. I don't wanna feel the same way I feel around my friends when I'm with them. they're like the only thing I have left, the only people that make me feel like I exist for a reason.
It has been an entire year since I lived under the scars & what they think of me. the way they talk to me, like I don;t deserve to exist. it hurts like fck, but then again, they don't care how I feel, does it help telling them, but I still did, they continued. they don't know how it feels, cos they don't have the past I have, couldn't blame them I guess. & since then, I stayed away. trying to avoid going outings with them, not hanging out with them in school. I just wanted to be alone. to have sometime alone. cos the only person that won't hurt me, is me. others judge, even they dont know you. they just don't care. because you don't do things the way they do, & that's why they won't accept you. not even if you tried to fit in, not even you tried so hard you forgotten who you really are. THEY JUST DONT CARE.
I guess that's how all human are.
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